September 27, 2022

The Washington Commanders are the most humiliating franchise in football thanks in large part to the incredible ineptitude of owner Daniel Snyder. Even after finally leaving behind their racist mascot name, the artists formerly known as the Washington football team still struggling to do anything right.

So far this offseason, a The parliamentary committee has completed the investigation which saw Snyder try to discredit legitimate workplace sexual-harassment allegations with his own shady investigation, try to intimidate witnesses with private investigators, and report little revenue to visiting groups. Snyder is also reported evaded a congressional subpoena by sailing away on his superyacht so it could not be served.

On Friday, the Commanders tried to earn some goodwill among one of the league’s most passionate fans by announcing a new seven-night fan cruise. Yes, a Caribbean cruise from the same group owned by a man who sailed into international waters to avoid a congressional subpoena!

The cruise promises “rubbing, karaoke, dancing” and time to meet Washington football legends. From the press release:

As part of the seven-night excursion, guests will have the opportunity to participate in Commanders-themed events and activities, including meet and greets, Q&A and photo opportunities, trivia, karaoke, dancing and more, all while enjoying the company of up to 30 Legends of Washington. Additional Legends will be announced closer to the cruise departure date.

“As an organization, it is important to us to provide Commanders fans with the best possible fan experience – whether at FedExField or in the Caribbean,” said Director of Commanders Partnerships Ryan Moreland. “Having the best football fans along with dozens of players who have shaped the history of this organization in this unforgettable experience is central to our mission to seek out exciting and impressive partnerships and we thank First Class Cruises for helping to bring this unique experience of a lifetime for our fans.”

“Legends of the team” make headlines by Joe Theismann, Doug Williams, Dexter Manley, Jordan Reed and Santana Moss. But that buries the lede. Also on this fan cruise is none other than world famous boat party enthusiast Fred Smoot!

Here’s a refresher on it Smoot’s role in the famous Vikings “love boat” scandal for those not old enough to remember.

There’s something that feels incredibly slimy about going on a seven-day Caribbean cruise with a franchise that was accused of sexual assault at the highest levels of the organization. The fact that the Commanders announced this right after Snyder sailed away on his own yacht to avoid being subpoenaed makes it all the more strange and tone deaf. The cruise ship used by Washington, Harmony of the Seas, also had a of a major Covid outbreak earlier this year.

The whole thing ranges between $2,200 and $4,000 for the entire cruise. What can go wrong?

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