February 22, 2024

Steph Curry

Steph Curry
Photo: Getty Images

Steph Curry’s new nickname, The Petty King, feels made up. He’s on this post-Finals MVP mission to call out everyone who’s ever overlooked him. Nice one man, your legacy is as pristine as they come. Why didn’t this persona come out before the highly anticipated Finals MVP when you were still vulnerable?

The latest person to feel Steph’s wrath is Mike James. He spent four years in the league, including one year in Golden State, and made headlines this week by leaving Curry off his top five list. He had the audacity to call Curry one-dimensional.

Well, Petty King caught on and responded at a basketball camp.

I know it’s cute or whatever, but if Kevin Durant doesn’t learn this behavior from Steph, there’s already a King of Petty and he’s got the burn bills to prove it. Durant not only responds to the slightest, but he comes for guys with both barrels loaded.

There’s a certain level of bullshit that KD hasn’t put up with since turning to the social assassin life, and his tolerance seems to be on the wane. Any day now she’s going to start harassing people for using OMG and LOL in verbal conversations.

Honestly, if we really want to talk about the Petty King, Larry David is the Grand Emperor for eternity. A basic account to anonymously tell the trolls commenting on your tweets to screw up sounds like a great premise for an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Being petty is not a trait you develop. It’s ingrained in your DNA. No tweet, catchphrase, slant or insult goes unchallenged.

If Curry wants to call himself a minor royal, or the crown prince, or part petty with a high chance of being minor, that’s fine. But little king? I should see a lot more than a mention of a G leaguer after he left you off his top five list.

Curry should have opened the press conference by saying, “I’ve been in camp two weeks and I already feel like I’ve been teammates with these guys longer than Mike James.” Or, “Mike was also a one-dimensional player, but his one dimension was to suck ass in basketball.”

If there was a master class in beautiful, I’m not even sure Curry is a top seven pick to teach it.

A bicycle kick to Lionel Messi you say?

Paris Saint-Germain began their Ligue 1 title defense on Saturday as if they were running unchallenged. During a 5-0 thrashing of Clermont Foot, Lionel Messi tried to stave off his boredom by upping the difficulty level.

What does this mean for the title race? When I get infected with Clermont Foot, how do I get rid of it? I have no idea. I just thought it would be fun to watch Messi orchestrate his own bike.

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